This is me!

You Are a Green Crayon

Your world is colored in harmonious, peaceful, natural colors. While some may associate green with money, you are one of the least materialistic people around. Comfort is important to you. You like to feel as relaxed as possible - and you try to make others feel at ease. You're very happy with who you are, and it certainly shows! Your color wheel opposite is red. Every time you feel grounded, a red person does their best to shake you.

What Color Crayon Are You?

My little girl is one

It is hard to believe that we went from this one year ago.

To this very active and adventurous little girl.

In one short year our life has changed so much and so wonderfully. Today has been a wonderful day of remembering. I just can't believe how fast the year went. Riley is such a wonderful little girl. She is so happy that she has recieved the nickname Smiley Riley at the nursery. And she brings us so much joy. She loves her family so much. Her brother and Nana in particular. I love that she gives kisses now. I love that she is a mama's girl. (something I have told her she can be forever) I love that she is active and loves to be outside.
I LOVE YOU LITTLE GIRL!!

Army Stuff

So the other night we watched a movie called "Home of the Brave" I think we are going to stop watching war/army movies until Jim gets home. It was a good movie and touched on issues that are real. However, when you are looking toward deployment it isn't something you want to think about. I want Jim to serve his country and to do the best he can and of course come home safe. I also in an ideal world I don't want him to have to see anything or do anything that will give him nightmares again.
Jim has been home now for almost 4 years. (I mean from deployments, he seems to be gone a lot for other army stuff) And I will admit it was hard having him home at first. I mean everything in our life changed when he was deployed before. I worked when he left, we lived in a different house and we didn't have a child. He came home and I no longer worked, I had bought us a new house and had our first child. All great and exciting things but all new. Oh and Jim didn't have a job. So, life was new and different. So, with this deployment I plan on not making any major changes. I mean obviously life will go on with out him here but other than the kids growing and all that I want life to stay as much the same as we can make it. And I would also like him to come home and not have PTSD. And we are done watching Army movies for awhile.

How I've changed

Back in the day I loved winter. I loved cuddling up in a warm sweatshirt and blanket and drinking hot chocolate. I would read a book or watch a good chick flick. Don't get me wrong. I still love that about winter. I still loved the other seasons. (Summer was harder cause it is so hot) But, I loved spring and I also enjoyed going camping and hiking and being outside. But the rain and length of winter never bothered me. That is until this year. I love the sun. I am ready to be outside everyday. I don't usually get cabin fever. This year I felt like I had it. I have loved the last couple of weeks where we can be outside everyday. There are multiple reasons why I like this. First, Brayden has been able to get all his wiggles and energy out. He is getting to play with the neighbor kids. (That has it's challenges, but is good) Riley also loves being outside. She loves to ride the tractor or tricycle and swing on the swing. They both love to go for walks. The other reason I like to have us outside lots is the house stays so much cleaner. I know that is really crazy. I love to have the kids get out toys and use there imaginations. Like this morning we went "Camping" in the living room. We had sleeping bags and all that. But, then we went on a hike and saw all kinds of fun things on our hike. I just came up with another reason I love playing outside. Imagination. I don't know about you all but I sure like my kids using there imaginations and so many toys now a days do it all for them. I love toys that don't make noise and encourage the kids to do it themselves. And outside it is all about sticks and dirt and bikes and just playing. I love that. Okay I know I went off on another tangent.
I hope where ever you are you are able to get out and enjoy spring. Or hopefully spring has started for you. We have beautiful flowers growing and much warmer weather. Yea!!

Passion

So I have several passions in my life.
God
My husband
My kids
Family
Coffee
and Children's books.

I love going to the bible book store and looking for kids books. I love reading them to my kids to. Last night I had a meeting and got to go early and I went to Christian supply and was able to just look for 10 min. Then I had to pee. I can't figure out how no matter what I get interupted. Oh well.
If I had lots of money I would for sure spend tons on kids books. There are just so many great ones to read out there.

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Childcare and my son

It has been decided that I am going to stop doing childcare. With Jim's upcoming deployment we just thought it is better for us to spend as much time as we can together and with childcare that is tough. We don't have the availabilty to just go and do what ever when we want. So, in a couple weeks I will be done. I have also realized something about myself. I love kids but don't think childcare is for me. I was feeling like I maybe didn't like kids as much as I always thought. But I have realized it is okay to like other kids but not want them in my home everyday. With that said I told Brayden today that Aubrey wasn't going to be coming much anymore. (I have told them I would be there back up) He was really sad. Now I knew he enjoyed having her but I didn't realize how much. So, tonight he had gone to bed and I went in to talk to him and he asked again why she was going to be going to someone elses house. I came up with a different way to explain it and I said well you know daddy has to go on a really long army trip? Yes. Well, we want to be able to spend as much time with daddy as we can before his trip and if Aubrey is here we can't go to the beach and Sunriver and all that. So, Aubrey will still come sometimes and we can meet her at the Library for storytime. And she will still be our friend and we will still pray for Aubrey. And he was okay with that answer. Then he says, Aubrey needs to ask Jesus into her heart. Then she can be in Heaven with us. I was so happy. I am so glad that he cares. I have really been praying for that. But, also talking about it with him. I know they are also talking about sharing your faith in Sunday school and it just makes me so happy that he is listening. He also said he is excited to get to Heaven when he gets older and he wants to give Jesus a big hug, cause Jesus gives the best hugs. Oh my heart is so happy right now.

Sleeping

Okay so from the start my kids don't sleep long periods of time at night. People would tell me how there kids would sleep through the night at 2 months and what not but not mine. Now I know part of that is my fault. I couldn't just let them cry. In my mind if my child is crying they need me. I also nurse and felt like if they were hungry then I would feed them. Brayden now is a great sleeper and only occasionally wakes at night and usually it is because of a bad dream of needing to go to the bathroom. Riley is almost 11 months and was still nursing several times a night. I was starting to get nervous because I am looking towards weaning her and didn't know how that would go. She does fine without nursing before nap during the day and what not. Well, last night she only woke up 2 times and only nursed once. She is doing great tonight as well. I think another thing I am doing is not jumping as fast. I hear her moaning and moving around in there and I used to jump up and get her and feed her right away and then I knew we would all sleep again. I am letting her moan for at least 5 or 10 min. and then go in if she is actually crying. Well, it seems to be working. So, now to all of you who are saying wow just let them cry it out. I can't. I just can't. And for those of you who have looked at the posting time for this and said if your kids are sleeping why are you up? I am on my way. I just was listening to my precious little one moan and thought I should post this now. Otherwise it becomes like so many other posts and just stays in my head.

Updates

So, nothing major has been going on. Except that my little girl is growing up so fast. She will be 11 months on Sunday and she loves to babble and she is walking and she is so proud of herself at being able to climb into her rocking chair and rock. Brayden has decided he wants to go to Preschool. I wasn't going to push him into it but, he brought it up. So, we are going to go and take a look at the Church down the hill. It is hard for me. What a crazy year that will be. My husband heads of on a deployment again, my little boy goes to preschool and my baby girl is going to be one. Why does time have to go so fast?
Here are some pictures of my sweethearts.

A GREAT DAY

So, today was a great day. The kids and I went to church. Jim has a cold and had an open house this afternoon so he stayed home to rest. And on the way home from church Brayden and I were talking and I was asking him about what he learnt about in Sunday school and he was telling me about Jesus in the boat and how he calmed the storm. Then he again asked about where Jesus lives. We talk about Jesus a lot. He wants to know why he died on the cross why the mean people did that to him, why he was raised from the dead and if he takes a toy from Riley is that a sin all those things. So, I explained that Jesus is everywhere but that he will live in our hearts if we ask him to and the next thing out of his mouth was Jesus please come and live in my heart. I teared up and told him how happy Jesus was that he made that decision and that mommy was happy and we have made a big deal about it with telling family so he feels like it was a good thing as well. I am so happy for him and the biggest parenting prayer I have had has been answered for my first child.
I just feel so full of love right now it is awesome.

Long time no post

These are pictures of our Christmas road trip to Canada. The kids did so great. The trip up there was 19 hours and we just couldn't have asked for it to go any better.
Our first stop was at my dad's parents house and we were there for 3 days. Brayden had a lot of fun on the 4 wheeler with Grandpa. There was snow so that was great and grandpa likes to pop wheelys. So, that was a highlight.
Then we headed farther north to my moms parents place. That is what I call home. Only home is different now. Grandma and Grandpa have moved out of the big farm house and into the trailer/condo in town. And Uncle Bryan has moved into the big house. So, my family slept in the trailer as to not wake people in the big house early and that way people could be as loud and all that and we didn't have to worry about waking the kids. The kids loved it there as well. They had so many new people to see. Which made Riley a little clingy. But they loved there Nanny and Poppa and of course being the only great grandkids as of right now they were totally spoiled.
We went to the REALLY BIG MALL as Brayden calls it and he absoultly loved watching the sea lion show and riding on some bumper cars. Jim and I again realized that we like small towns and the country better than big city life. It was so nice to get back to the farm and enjoy the fresh air and space. I could so handle living in the country.
We had a wonderful trip and made it home safe and sound. The trip home was a lot longer but other than the flat tire and screaming kids from Gresham on (only about an hour from home) nothing major happened. I do have to say, there is no place like home.

It is done and what would you do?

Well, today was a sad and yet weird feeling day at our house. We found a new home for Charlie. Believe it or not is was bittersweet. I cried and felt horrible. But, kept reminding myself that it is best for him. He will be living around the corner from his brother and get to see him daily as well as run on a 50 acre farm daily. He will get to be in the house and sleep in the house. So, he will be so happy. I just keep reminding myself of all the fun he will have vs. sitting by himself all day. It is good. Sad but good.
Also, I helped out in Brayden's Sunday school class today and a young girl is his teacher. (young because she is younger than me) And she doesn't do anything. She teaches but other wise she sits there and gets ready for next week. Her helper also just sat. I played with the kids and I know the lady I was filling in for does. She also was wearing an incredibly low cut shirt. And as a mom of a little boy I am even more sensitive of that. ALso, Riley was in a new class today and didn't get a diaper change while there. 3 hours approx. And when I changed her when we got home she was poopy. Now she could have just done it, but still. So, the question is do I say anything or just let it go?

Technology and Change

Why do we have to have change? I know it is good for us and it helps us grow but it is so hard. I think lately I have started dreading change even more. I have kept Riley in the same Sunday school class I think a month longer than she should be just because I adore the teacher. She is wonderful and has become a friend. I just want my kids and family to stay the same forever. I love technology but again it is constantly changing. As great as cell phones and computers and all that are it is hard watching the pain it brings some people. I am also watching my youngest siblings fight over who gets the cell phone more. Gone are the days where friends called you on the phone now it is all about texting. How sad. I wonder how many of my kids friends will even know what a home phone is. We still have one. Somedays it just makes me long for the days when friends called you on the phone or came over. Well, I guess I will continue doing what I always do, go with it. Can't change it but I have to move with it. There are somethings that I won't change and that is talking on my cell phone while paying or trying to talk to another person.

Change,Halloween and life

Halloween was fun. I took the kids to the church for the Family fun night. Brayden had fun and of course Riley had fun. She just smiles all the time. We went with a friend and her two kids. Jim is gone again and her husband is a firefighter and had to work. It was a good time. Brayden of course thought that the candy was cool. I have been surprised though, he has already forgotten about it.
When Jim is gone Sundays are hardest for me. I don't know why. The first couple weeks are fine and then it just gets old and I want him home. I have been realizing that my life is fairly routine. I like it that way. I am not one that enjoys change. I am realizing that more and more about myself. I love my life and would only change that my husband not have to go away next year. But, what can we do.
I am extremely happy about next week. My grandparents are coming. I am so excited for them to meet our little girl and Brayden can't wait to see his nanny and pappa.
Oh and Riley got 2 teeth. We are starting to sleep better so that is great.

Feeling like a terrible mom

So, Brayden is an active little boy and I love that about him. However, he is also all boy. Again I love that about him. I just have been feeling like everything with him is a battle. No you can't climb on the back of the couch. No don't do that. Be nice to your sister. I just don't like feeling like everything is NO. And Riley is sick and so I feel like I am giving him even less attention. And Jim is gone and I don't feel like he is getting that daddy time. So, today when the dog threw up in the van on the way home from my parents I think I made the decision. He has to go. Again the dog isn't bad. (yes he doesn't obey) I just don't have the time or patience or extra energy to deal with the dog and training and all that. I love my mornings when it is just the kids and I and then I go oh wait I have to put the dog out. And the dog doesn't cooperate. And I am just not good at ignoring the dog and yet he isn't getting the training or attention he deserves. Yes, he is cute and sweet. But he is also hyper and draining. (at least to me) So, with all the pro/con things done and my heart and mind feeling good about my decision. Why do I feel like it is just one thing on the you are a terrible mom chart?

Children's books

First I have to start off by saying that Amanda whom I read her blog and she reads mine. We don't know each other or anything but have gotten to know each other through blogging. Well she blogged the other day about do we always have to have a title. Well, Amanda I am with you. That is the hardest part for me.
So, on to Children's books. I think I have a fettish. I love children's books. I enjoy reading but don't always have the time so I try to limit myself to just reading Karen Kingsbury and a few Amish books. But, I still get onto the Christian supply or Christianbook websites and look around and wow. There are just so many great books I want to read to my kids. Okay sometimes if we haven't had time that day and the books are new I read them while they are napping. I just pray that my kids continue to love books and that I can keep buying them.

Death

Being a Christian I don't fear death. I don't really want it to happen now, unless my husband and kids can come to. I know I am going to Heaven. So, when I found out than my Great Grandma died last week I wasn't sad. I feel a little bad, but when you think about it what is there to be sad about. First she loved Jesus. So, she is in heaven with him. My Great Grandpa died years ago so she gets to be with him to. I also think of the great life she had. She had turned 100 on Jan 1. She had been married to grandpa for 70 years. She had 70 some great grandkids and at least 20 great great grandkids. In recent years her sight had been fadding (huh 100 years) and she was losing her memory and ability to walk. So, I just can't feel anything except YEAH! God is definatley saying well done good and faithful servant well done.
It also makes me look at the grandparents we still have living and at my kids grandparents and again I am so grateful for such a wonderful Christian legacy that I have been given and that I can leave for my children.
Thank you Lord for the wonderful family you have given me.

Very Tired

So today the weather felt so fall like. It was overcast and just a cozy day. Brayden, Riley and Aubrey all were more tired today. And Riley was really tired during dinner.

Potty Training and Little girls

So I have never potty trained before and I have heard little boys are hard but oh my. We have had it easy. We are on day three with no accidents and no wetting at bed or nap. I am so proud of my little boy and it is so nice not having to change big kid diapers. He even is doing great with pooping. So praise the lord. I know and am expecting accidents at some point but so far we have done several shopping trips with him telling us when he has to go and we even did Sunday school today and had no problems. So, hopefully all stays well.
Okay now I think I secretly always wanted a little girl. I am thrilled to death with my little boy and would have been thrilled to death with another one. But, oh my. My little girl. I am having so much fun. I am kind of old fashioned about things and I get excited about the thought of her enjoying playing house and reading little house on the praire with her and just fun things like that. When we found out we were having a girl I was irritated with all the "oh how fun, girls are so much more fun to dress than boys" I see what people mean. I am loving the dress buying. But, I have always been more excited about the relationship we would have. My mom and I are best friends and I so desire to have that with Riley. It is also so fun to watch her and Brayden interact. So, if you ever see a good deal on little dresses please let me know. I am all about the dresses.

Potty Training and Weekend get away

The Beautiful Scenery. Black Butte Oregon

Our little cowboy

So we had a wonderful weekend get away with some friends this weekend. They rented a house in Black butte and another couple and us went. So, six adults and 6 kids spent the weekend together. It was a fun weekend and we are all still friends.
Then we came home and got to see my family who had been away. My mom for 2 weeks and my dad, sis and bro for 1 week. I am incredibly close to my family as they are the ones that are always here when Jim is away. It is actually sad that it was weird and hard not having my mom and I am just so used to my husband being gone. Oh well it is just that way for now. Some day he will be home all the time. And for now he is home more than he used to be.
So Monday and Tuesday were busy crazy days and so today was our Potty Party day. We just used that as our starting day. He peeed three times on the potty and got treats and what not. I think he is starting to get it. He was just semi asleep and called out that he had to pee on the toilet. (the way he says it is so cute) There was lots of dancing and singing and praising (oh and some candy as well) But wow it is hard work. You have to drop whatever to run. Even if you know they don't really have to go. Just to keep them excited. I think he is getting the concept though or at least starting to know when he has the feeling. Hopefully. I know it may take awhile but we have dived in now. So pray that all continues going well.